Blogg(in) & out

So lets make a list of things I like and do not like.

Do Not:

People who pay with checks

Slow lane merging sans blinker

Cats

Super tight jeans, unless its 1988 and I'm sporting a pair of levi stonewashed jeans with pegs

Hi-Top shoes

The Under Armour Store

Sugar Substitutes

Whoever the evening drive DJ is on MIX 107.3

All day music festivals

Unscented Candles

Shows that celebrate dancing

The US version of Iron Chef

Heart of Palm and Feta, in no particular order

Loud Walkers

Circus Peanuts

Ironing

Mambo No. 5

Pleather

Armor All - it will not go away

Super high sideburns

90% of coupons

Slow walkers in the mall

Jeans with graphics

My Hair since 1979

Hats that do not fit right

People who speak with british accents who are not from england

Lame soccer players who dive....its also popular in basketball 

The slow rate of new movies available for free on demand

Going to a concert when bands insist on playing new songs and not good songs

All things assembly required

Darryl, Moose & Goose

Cranberry Drinks

Cars that rhyme with Ford

Tube TV's

All things uber and noob

Do:

Peach and Mango

Catalogs in the mail

Ottomans, but not so much the empire

Scented Candles of course

Rooting for all teams DC (not other teams from cities I have never been to or lived in - cough cough - Dallas and Pittsburgh fans - cough cough)

Birch Beer, ye olde

HDTV

Background noise

Fans of the oscillating variety

Surround sound

Winter hats

Sadly I enjoy a good vacuum and laundry on sunday

Wegmans, Target, Costco and Bed Bath & beyond, pretty nice saturday lined up

Mitsubishi Warranty's

Napping with Casey

Comfort Dry Socks 

The Keurig Coffee experience

Owning the largest toaster oven I have ever seen

Field Day

Reclining

Records and AM radio

Judging bad xmas sweaters at the mall

BBQ & Diners or both at once

Unleashing the fury

Vault Soda - I wish I knew how to quit you

Dancin' on the Ceiling, All night long

Caesar Milan's corrections

Huey Lewis, the entire catalog

Thanks. 2009. 

A (Scented) Candle in the Wind

Every once in a while I have moments of genius only rivaled by the person who developed COURIER NEW FONT which makes a 22 pager paper = a 30 page paper.

My moment arrived in August 2008 and it is no coincidence that I also got married in August.

I want to present my theory as fact, because I am mostly irrational and far from logical. 

Here it goes:

If you get married, you almost immediately start purchasing and using scented candles, it just happens.

Before August 2008 I did not know much about the Yankee Candle store which is conveniently located at your nearest mall.  These days my trips to the ol' Yankee Candle Store feels like walking into a G**D**** Best Buy.  

On a typical night I cannot get 10 feet into my home without having a "Christmas Sugar Cookie" or "Mango Ginger" lit up like an F'N Xmas tree.....OH how the mighty have fallen.

I have got a stockade of this stuff loaded (and stored in the linen closet) and ready to rock n' roll at a moments notice.  You can't run from it, just try.  Marriage = Big Scented Candles.

I feel like this may not be all together groundbreaking, but just look at all your friends who are recently married, check their homes, it basically validates my BA in History.  If my final paper did not have be about the 17th Century Jesuit Relations in Canada, then it would have been about Marriages and Candles!

A few words of advice.....Do Not go to the store and go on a candle smelling spree, I went on a binge and I got nauseous and had to leave the Yankee Candle store abruptly.  Also, don't be afraid to branch out and get some good deals on candles at places like Pier One Imports or even Kohl's.....Heck, go bat-shit crazy and get a soy candle.

Also, find your scent.....My wonderful wife is a Mandarin Cranberry.  The candle was about the only Xmas present she did not return, it never fails!!!

PS - Go do yourself another favor and try the mango soda from Wegman's, its scrumtrulescent.

FINISHED.