Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Blogg(in) & out

So lets make a list of things I like and do not like.

Do Not:

People who pay with checks
Slow lane merging sans blinker
Super tight jeans, unless its 1988 and I'm sporting a pair of levi stonewashed jeans with pegs
Hi-Top shoes
The Under Armour Store
Sugar Substitutes
Whoever the evening drive DJ is on MIX 107.3
All day music festivals
Unscented Candles
Shows that celebrate dancing
The US version of Iron Chef
Heart of Palm and Feta, in no particular order
Loud Walkers
Circus Peanuts
Mambo No. 5
Armor All - it will not go away
Super high sideburns
90% of coupons
Slow walkers in the mall
Jeans with graphics
My Hair since 1979
Hats that do not fit right
People who speak with british accents who are not from england
Lame soccer players who dive....its also popular in basketball 
The slow rate of new movies available for free on demand
Going to a concert when bands insist on playing new songs and not good songs
All things assembly required
Darryl, Moose & Goose
Cranberry Drinks
Cars that rhyme with Ford
Tube TV's
All things uber and noob


Peach and Mango
Catalogs in the mail
Ottomans, but not so much the empire
Scented Candles of course
Rooting for all teams DC (not other teams from cities I have never been to or lived in - cough cough - Dallas and Pittsburgh fans - cough cough)
Birch Beer, ye olde
Background noise
Fans of the oscillating variety
Surround sound
Winter hats
Sadly I enjoy a good vacuum and laundry on sunday
Wegmans, Target, Costco and Bed Bath & beyond, pretty nice saturday lined up
Mitsubishi Warranty's
Napping with Casey
Comfort Dry Socks 
The Keurig Coffee experience
Owning the largest toaster oven I have ever seen
Field Day
Records and AM radio
Judging bad xmas sweaters at the mall
BBQ & Diners or both at once
Unleashing the fury
Vault Soda - I wish I knew how to quit you
Dancin' on the Ceiling, All night long
Caesar Milan's corrections
Huey Lewis, the entire catalog

Thanks. 2009. 

Friday, January 2, 2009

A (Scented) Candle in the Wind

Every once in a while I have moments of genius only rivaled by the person who developed COURIER NEW FONT which makes a 22 pager paper = a 30 page paper.

My moment arrived in August 2008 and it is no coincidence that I also got married in August.

I want to present my theory as fact, because I am mostly irrational and far from logical. 

Here it goes:

If you get married, you almost immediately start purchasing and using scented candles, it just happens.

Before August 2008 I did not know much about the Yankee Candle store which is conveniently located at your nearest mall.  These days my trips to the ol' Yankee Candle Store feels like walking into a G**D**** Best Buy.  

On a typical night I cannot get 10 feet into my home without having a "Christmas Sugar Cookie" or "Mango Ginger" lit up like an F'N Xmas tree.....OH how the mighty have fallen.

I have got a stockade of this stuff loaded (and stored in the linen closet) and ready to rock n' roll at a moments notice.  You can't run from it, just try.  Marriage = Big Scented Candles.

I feel like this may not be all together groundbreaking, but just look at all your friends who are recently married, check their homes, it basically validates my BA in History.  If my final paper did not have be about the 17th Century Jesuit Relations in Canada, then it would have been about Marriages and Candles!

A few words of advice.....Do Not go to the store and go on a candle smelling spree, I went on a binge and I got nauseous and had to leave the Yankee Candle store abruptly.  Also, don't be afraid to branch out and get some good deals on candles at places like Pier One Imports or even Kohl's.....Heck, go bat-shit crazy and get a soy candle.

Also, find your scent.....My wonderful wife is a Mandarin Cranberry.  The candle was about the only Xmas present she did not return, it never fails!!!

PS - Go do yourself another favor and try the mango soda from Wegman's, its scrumtrulescent.